Do you want to bring some Splendor into your life? What’s stopping you? Perhaps it’s one of these Myths About Splendor?
1 – IT COSTS TOO MUCH/I NEED TO HAVE TONS OF MONEY SO I CAN BUY LOTS OF FANCY THINGS
Ok, the truth is that just about every hobby, activity or form of entertainment costs some amount of money, and trying to live graciously is no different. So, yes, if your idea of Splendor is setting an elegant table or having formal cocktail hour or filling a home with lovely things, it will likely requires at least some kind of expenditure above and beyond your normal household budget from time to time. But it doesn’t mean you have to spend a fortune – you will be delighted by the lovely things you can find for very reasonable prices in consignment, thrift and “antique” stores, not to mention ebay and etsy.
Yes, you may have to do a bit of compromising if you have Limoges taste on a Oneida budget (guilty!), but don’t let the idea that Splendor = expensive, top of the line “stuff” hold you back. Splendor is about what you do with what you have.
2 -IF I DO A BUNCH OF FUSSY, FANCY STUFF, PEOPLE WILL THINK I’M A PRETENTIOUS TOOL
Your friends and family will only think you’re being a pretentious tool if you try to be “fancy” because you think it will impress them. A good way to avoid that is to simply ensure you are using, doing or sharing only things you truly love and that bring you joy. If sipping sparkling wine out of a crystal flute genuinely delights you, then sharing that with guests will only magnify your pleasure. But if you’re doing it because you think it’s “what people do” or because you think it will impress people, then it’s probably not going to come off as sincere or natural. If you open your home with genuine warmth and graciousness, people will respond in kind, no matter the circumstance.
3 – MY GLASSES/DISHES/ART/HOUSE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH
Stop. There’s no such thing as “not good enough” when it comes to Splendor. Use what you have, where you are, present it joyfully and it will be more than good enough. I don’t care if you only have mismatched plates, plastic cups and paper napkins – if you set your table neatly and serve good food to people you care about, that is splendor.
4 – I NEED A COMPLETE SET OF EVERYTHING
Let’s face it, collecting and acquiring cool stuff is half the fun of most hobbies, and it’s no different if you hobby is living graciously. Suppose you’ve always wanted to invite friends to your home for fabulous dinner parties, but you don’t have a full set of china. Or even a full set of plates. Or a table. Oh, and you don’t cook. None of those are a real impediment. Do you have a set of wine or cocktail glasses? If not, you can get a set of 8 wine glasses for under $15 (you can spend more, of course, if you like, but it’s ok to start inexpensively). Then pick up 2 or 3 bottles of wine (lots of great options for $10 or even less) – now you have everything you need to throw a wine party. I’m completely serious. Start small. Have a few friends over to share a bottle of two of wine. Put some crackers in a bowl and a block of cheese on a plate or board and you’ve got refreshments. You don’t need to have dinner service for 10 to host a gracious and wonderful evening for friends, and you don’t need to spend a fortune, either. In time, you can add to your collection of dishes and tableware if that makes you happy, but you don’t need to have a full Butler’s Pantry before you start hosting.
5 – ALL THIS SPLENDOR IS A LOT OF WORK
Anything that’s truly worth doing in life is going to take a bit of effort, including Splendor. But here, too, you can choose the moderate path. If you absolutely loathe hand washing dishes, then you’re probably not going to find the delights of using fine china worth the clean up. Guess what? You can get yourself a set of lovely “Special occasion” dishes that can go in the dishwasher – there is no rule that says a splendid table must be set with only fine or expensive china. The only requirement, really, is that those plates please you and give you some sense of “occasion” when you use them – it doesn’t matter if they’re a cheap set from Target or high end antiques.
That’s just one example – apply as needed. Find things that create more delight than hassle and focus your efforts there. Splendor and a gracious lifestyle isn’t about making life harder, it’s about strategically using a little extra effort to make life (or at least parts of it) more special.
6- I DON’T HAVE TIME
Time is a precious commodity. Much like #5, anything worth doing will take up some of your time. Here, again, moderation is key, and you don’t have to devote heaps of time to polishing silver or caring for a large house or garden in order to celebrate a bit of splendor in your life. If your life is hectic and heavily scheduled, splendor for you (at least right now) might be as simple as picking up a few flowers every week during the grocery run or making sure you eat dinner (even if it’s delivery pizza or leftovers!) on a real plate. Start where you are, and work from there – even making tiny changes to bring a bit more nicety into your life can make a tremendous difference.
If you love to have dinner parties but you don’t actually like the time involved in planning, shopping for and cooking a big meal, serve good take out or even hire a caterer if you have the budget for that. Then set the table beautifully, serve the food with graciousness to your guests, and enjoy the evening.
Far be it from me to try and sell you on the idea of gracious living. It’s something that will either appeal or it will not, and either is ok. But if you want to start experimenting and dabbling, don’t let these mistaken ideas hold you back – Splendor is about what you do with what you have, it’s about starting where you are and adding a bit of burnish to your life. It’s ok to start small and it’s ok if your own definition of Splendor is different from someone else’s.